The glow has worn off and I'm tired of chemo.

What, there was a glow? Really?

Well, yes, kind of. Maybe a horrible, unhealthy nuclear mutant type of glow, but a glow nonetheless. The first few chemo sessions were at least doing something new, taking some action and getting used to the effects. Now it's starting to get really old. I'm even getting a little tired of being bald, though mirrors still fascinate. 12 weeks of Taxol to go, and I already feel like I'm just done.

At least now there's radiation stuff to deal with. I've met my RadOnc, and we're setting up my plan next Thursday. I'm not very happy about that either, though. I'm just getting tired of doing all this stuff that changes and sometimes permanently damages my body, when we don't even know there's anything in there to fight. Maybe there aren't any cancer cells. Maybe everything got cut out in the surgery and I'm doing all this for nothing. I've already lost 18 perfectly healthy lymph nodes. How much other healthy tissue do I have to destroy "just in case"?

Then again, the thought of a recurrence is a lot worse than anything I'm currently living with, and the part of treatment I'm currently living with is probably the worst of it. So I guess I should just buck up and deal.